Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Sad is the heart that goes unspoken

Sad is the heart that goes unspoken

"Walking in a lie is much harder than walking in the truth": DeAndre Littles

 Many of us live our lives one day at a time and never leave it all on the table to make it to tomorrow. We let our heart hurt for the sake of another day. Its never ok to hold in your feelings. Take time to speak your mind or heart. Who is to judge a bleeding heart but yourself. Living to see another moment or day without knowing is more painful then it would be to express your affection to a person or share a moment with a person. Share your heart and share your feelings it will make you live a happier life knowing rather than not knowing. Live in fear and die or with a broken heart. I rather die with the broken heart of knowing than live a life of regret.

Find yourself a relationship that you can be open and find true love. Being open with a partner will make things a lot easier in life than living in fear of telling the person the truth. I love my wife and tell her what is on my heart. It is not always the easiest thing to do but again I rather have a death from the broken heart I have then live in regret of not telling her the truth. I have hidden many secrets from her that came to light and made things much harder than had I told her from the first time it happened. This lesson taught me that telling the truth may hurt for two seconds but hiding a secret is hard work and can come back to hurt so much more than a truthful heart.

What are your thoughts and view on this? Is it better to live in fear of telling or is it better to tell the truth and live through the honest pain? please comment below and we will address the pain together.

"Life is too short..... live for a moment of truth... live in honesty or die in regret" DeAndre Littles

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Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Respecting women: Life lessons stage one

Who are we to disrespect women,
the vessel in which all human life passes.
     There are so many lessons we are taught at a young age we forget when we get older. For some of us we never learned the basics so I will go over the basics over the next few blogs. Think you know all about the basics? Then maybe this will be just a refresher but from the world we live in its my belief many never knew or have lost basic skills on how to treat a woman.  First and foremost basic number one is to respect all women. As I sat for hours pondering what to say about respecting women.... It came to me like a strike of lighting crashing down. The teaching of respect for women starts with your mother. Now this does not have to be a birth mother. This can be any women who raised you and raised you right. The teaching to respect her and cherish the fact that she was there for you. Everyone has someone in their life that was a motherly figure in some way shape or form. For me it was all about my Great Aunt. She was no graceful woman or meek woman. This was a strong solid woman who could teach boys to be men and girls to be women. I had and will always have the utmost respect for this women. Thank you Joan Slade for all that you did and this first blog comes from many of your teachings and life as I experienced it myself. The topics I discuss and the things I write may seem directed at men but is to create a greater foundation. If you can effect the boy who wants to be a man then you will help women not want to disrespect themselves. First for men who do not know I will break down this word respect for you and start with the word Respect as defined in the dictionary:
A feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

Admire (someone or something) deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
     These are forgotten aspects of our daily life and relationships. These definitions are seemingly lost in a world that seems to believe the more rights a woman has the less respect she is to receive. Looking around to see men who show respect for women is a lost cause that I hope to fight for in my life. Men if you haven't already realized that sleeping with multiple women and being in a relationship with one and using the other ones. Really... Do I even need to begin to say what is wrong with this picture. If I do need to explain why this is wrong then you may need further help then I can give.
     Respect is something that is earned and guess what women are allow to inherit this in life. Realize that without their sacrifice and strength you would be nothing but a smear on a towel or an aborted being. Sorry if that was too graphic but you understand my point is that strong. Women hold the secrets of life of being able to survive something the size of a small watermelon coming out the size of something smaller than the size of a doughnut's hole. This should be a basic understanding for a foundation of where a women's respect begins and doesn't end.
      Alright so I'm sure everyone is ready for me to get the relationship part of this because that is what I like to talk about. Starting off slow for those who are looking to build strong relationship with women please start with this tip. Save your profanity for the fellas. Going back to the beginning of this whole thing women are like your mother and there should never be a point in your life you should call your mother a b****. If you are at that point lets start here in saying all together I will not call my mother or any women a B**** again. This is not respectful and is unacceptable by any standards. That right here is basic basic..... and hopefully doesn't need to be repeated in later blogs.
       Another basic skill around respect for women is when you have a women or trying to get that special women start by stopping the action of putting her down. Its time for men to praise their women for what they do right and stop using their wives or girlfriends or even friends as punching bags. Save your put down for when you want to joke with the fellas because women don't need your put downs. You want see your woman smile say something about her that praises her on Facebook, to your friends, or just directly to her. Seems so simple but many men have forgotten women are not always praised for the wonderful things they do everyday. If you want to know how it feels, go to work everyday and never get any praises or raises and see how you feel. Doesn't feel to good huh? Try doing this everyday for the rest of your life.... Scary thought but that's how little women are praised for the wonderful beings that they are and can be to us if we treat them right.
      Here is another simple thing that men are starting to forget. Try discussing your business with just your woman and not half of the world. I see so many men online talking about their "baby mama" (I use this term as a reference not a definition). Even worse they are spreading it on the web which last  forever. Lets try to keep our business to our own bedrooms. I take time on several occasions myself to pull my wife aside to just talk about concerns. Instead of getting mad and blasting it online for the world to see and judge her like she is truly the monster the words will make her out to be in the status. I take her aside and discuss how I feel about something or express myself through a constructive activity. Trust me I've made this mistake before and it had horrible repercussion. Just remember what your friends think of your women is a direct reflection of you and it should be a sign of respect.
      Many men don't know how to respect their women in relationships. Watch your mate next time you hang out with your friends. Does he sit by you or sit by them? Does he sit by you but stare at them the whole time? Men don't make this mistake, I've caught myself in this trap before with my wife and her friends. My action were unintentional but still disrespectful and I've since corrected myself because overall that's the big lesson we should all obtain from these blogs I write.
     Last point to wrap this first blog up will be about being "straight up" with your woman. This is not an option but necessity to be in the basics. If you want to see several women at once at least have the common courtesy to discuss this with them all. Granted this should not be happening at all in the first place. If you feel a need to hide something then you should not be in that relationship or not "talking" to that woman you feel you need to keep secrets from when talking. I've come clean about so many things I've done and it was hard and put many holes in the walls of our relationship but we worked hard and patched each hole with love and came out stronger for it. A simple way to begin this is by discussing your status with each other and keeping it honest consistently. I found it easier to tell the truth than remember a lie.
    I hope for a first blog someone can say that got something out of this. I want to spread the foundation down for men to step up and be men. This will help women to be women. I hope to write to inspire a younger generation to be better than the generation I see today. I will be a father soon and want and will have my daughter respected like I respect my wife.
 Special thanks to my Wife, my unborn child, my belated Aunt Joanie, and My friend Kerry who inspired to put my words down.
Well that's just MY 3 Cents.