Friday, March 28, 2014

Time to move on: 7 things to consider before staying

Since a very young age I've known that at some point you have to let go and move on to the next one. As we get older sometimes we forget this lesson and want to hold on to what is not there anymore. Now I always believe in working things out in a marriage because that is a commitment that has been made but in life we never always get it right the first time. Hopefully these facts will keep you from getting down that path.
Are you told that the person your with is not right for you? How many times do you have to go over the same information for it to be understood? Do you both even want children? These are questions often forgotten in the path of the relationship for the sake of holding on to a relationship. Here are a few facts to consider to see if its time to move on:
  1. Still having fun: Are you and your significant other still finding time to enjoy life with each other? Many couples can find themselves caught up in the whirlwind of life but still find time for a few minutes of fun with each other. If you have notice even when you are trying to have fun together it feels more like work or can no longer agree what is fun. This may be a sign you have differences that can lead to a break up.
  2. Leave your message after the beep: Find yourself leaving more voicemails then talking to the person? You shouldn't have to always listen to a voicemail box message to hear your partners voice. Another flashing signal in here is if the number of rings decreases to get to the voicemail. This also goes for text messages or Facebook messages. You should never have more than 3 to 1 ratio in messages before its time to be concerned it might be time to move on to the next one.
  3. Stuck on replay: Have you found that you live in the past more than the present or future? In a relationship you will build so many great memories but you can't create new memories living in the old memories forever. If your significant other is too worried about your past to create a future they may not be the special one.
  4. Repeat Repeat Repeat: How many times can you go over the same issue and it not change? So, this is a big one for me. When you find your partner is told the same thing that offends you more than 5 times there might be an issue. There is a red flag if they can not follow the fact you get upset when they do X but still continue to do it.... might be move on time. This goes the other way around as well because if you have to continue to enforce something you want to do and the other person ignores it... again might be move on time.
  5. Holding on is holding you back: When the relationship that you are in begins to hold you back from other opportunities it might be time to move on. No relationship should keep you trapped. There are no glass ceilings in the relationships only upward support to the next level. If you are feeling trapped and can't get support its no longer the right person to build with in your life.
  6. Sex not included: So, where to being with this subject? Well, if the person is planning on holding out to marriage and you can't wait then you may just be foolish. Sex should never be a determining factor in the relationship unless.... there is more too it then just sex. If your partner never pleases you in bed and you have tried to make it work then this might be something to consider over the long run. Now, just like all other facts listed you must weigh this on your own scale on how much it makes a difference. Sex should just be another expression of affection for each other but if you can no longer use this it may be time to have a talk.
  7. No bun in the oven: At some point this should be in the conversation if you have gotten serious. If you want kids and the other person does not want kids then we have a disconnect. Don't waste time not finding this out early because you don't want to be down on one knee and telling the world how great of a provider and father you will be to her and the unborn child just to hear her say oh no I don't want kids. Same thing for women you do not want a man who can never make you a mother to say surprise I'm fixed and can't have kids on your wedding night...
So there are a few of signs/questions to consider when wanting to continue a relationship? Do you have more? Please share your signs or questions to consider below in the Comment box!! As always you have the options to email me or Facebook message me with questions or stories you would like to share.
"Trying to hold on to someone who does not want you is like trying to hold on to water"
DeAndre Littles

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